the bet

[Results] The bet ends in a whimper

Double womps. We’ll just call it a tie. Competitors #3 and #4 are completely MIA. I tried reaching out to them for updates, but I think they have given up on getting fit. Some of that I can chalk up to our metrics. Competitor #4 is a young man who works a very physically involved job. His issue may not have been weight, but body recomposition. Of course, we chose 20# as a fairly arbitrary goal, and that may not have suited all competitors. Even for myself, that kind of loss may not have been realistic. The person who stood to gain the most out of this contest was #3; he’s a man in middle age who leads a sedentary lifestyle with a Standard American Diet. He did tie with @CriticalMAS in terms of weight loss at the beginning of the bet.


hur dur i makes you fat

hur dur i makes you fat


Lessons learned

1. Choose your competitors carefully

2. Choose your metrics/goals carefully

3. Don’t get injured

4. Froyo is the devil

[Results] The side bet

WOMP. womp. What a month it has been. My attempts to sabotage @CriticalMAS has completely backfired. I suckered him into trying froyo (frozen yogurt for the innocent) and we both got addicted. He has either stalled on his weightloss or found the metrics to be off. I have definitely gained weight. Haven’t been able to weigh myself since the scale I originally used was at competitor #3’s house. He, unfortunately, is completely MIA when it comes to the bet. As is competitor #4.

We decided on a gentleman’s agreement that the side bet is a wash. I DON’T HAVE TO DO A SOCIAL MEDIA FAST. But this also means I won’t get to witness the humiliation of @CriticalMAS downing Starbucks espressos 😦



Update: @CriticalMAS updated his bet results here

The Bet: week 8 check in


I’ve no idea how much weight (if any) I’ve lost and won’t know until this week’s doctor appointment. That’s right, girls and boys, the universe thought everything was too swell and decided, “how’s your left leg doing, Winnah? HAHAHAHA IMMA FUCK IT UP FOR YOU!” And thus, I had an accident.

I’ve been thinking for the past few days about fitnessing whilst injured. I was in bed all weekend with nothing to do but rest up, stuff my face, and get comfortable with my two best friends: books and internets. I didn’t take too much note of what I ate because I was under the mercy of pain and other people’s cooking. Anyway, I reasoned that I was eating for two (myself + the injury). Of course I had no exercise, unless you counted the calories of the tears exuding from my face as I resigned myself to watching Bob’s Burgers entire 4 season run mothafuckin TWICE.

Did I get fatter? NOPE. It was a rest that was long overdue. I’ve been working very hard for the past 6 weeks with 60+ work hours, 3/4 of those being quite physical. Eating has been erratic, but I did start to eat more intuitively, listening to real hunger cues.

I was able to hobble out of bed in my schmexy foot boot on Monday and checked myself in the mirror. I was all like, DAMN Winnah. DAT LOWER BACK DIMPLE. Yes maam I gots em. At least the beginnings of some. Today I learned they’re called “Dimples of Venus.”

dimples of venus


Mine are not nearly this badass but I am in the processing of regain what was lost. Or lose what I’ve gained. Right now my dimples look like circa August 2013. By the end of this bet, I’m hoping they look more like November 2012.

It looks like I’ve been losing mostly fat and retaining a lot of muscle. This might mean that my short term weight loss may be lower, but fuck that shit, because retaining more muscles means I will burn a lot more fat whilst sitting on my bum. My very dimply bum. And hard biceps. Overall, everything feels tighter and leaner.

I think I’ll just stop eating tomorrow because this took too damn long





Counterclockwise from top:

breakfast: 2 raspberry tea cookies, english muffin sandwich with pepperjack and turkey

lunch: brown rice, teriyaki meatballs, sauteed bamboo shoots

snack: grapes and 2 fig newtons, loads of Ladro coffee, [update] kirkland oatmeal cookie, handful of unsalted, roasted almonds

dinner: FUCK IT.



[NSV] dem inches

The sweetest victories are the ones that surprise you. The whoosh effect (super scientific, I know) happened to me this week. It was laundry day and I was out of my civilized clothes. Lest I run around scaring the neighbors in my birthday suit, it was time to don something from the pile of event tshirts. Volunteering has its perks. Lo and behold, a shirt that previously was taut over my stomach is now a couple inches too loose.


What & Why

the terms: lose 20 pounds within 5 months (February-July 2014) in a healthful way. participants cannot do anything that will be detrimental to their health; crash dieting, for example, would be an automatic disqualifier. the bet is operational on the honor principle.

the costs: the bet loser has to do something personally abhorrent to them. for me, that would be abstaining from my smartphone and/or social media for personal use.

the 1/4 of this bet:

the inspiration:



and: the FUCK IT diet